Thursday, March 18, 2010

109

Dear Lover:

I need to tell you how much I miss you. Since that day I meet you, i couldn't believe I was in love with you<3.>


You are such a nice person that I met, The days I could not see you,I can see you in my heart, that makes my life easier.My mind is always busy since that day, i cant take my eyes off of you!!. You are like my lungs, without you I cant breathe, and without breathing ill be dead.


My point is, I'm sure that there's going to be one day that we would be together.. YOU & ME, we would met each other better than we know, and we'd had a great night.

10 comments:

  1. Marifer I think you wrote a little. I guess you could had done more. This topic is a much open topic. What I like is that you have a really nice view of love. I like how you use metaphors on this paragraph. Look out for punctuation, grammar, and some spelling.

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  2. Marifer you followed the instructions that were assigned for the prompts but not for the essay. This thing you wrote is more like a paragraph divided in 3. You need to write more about your love to your man. there are a ton of things you can say about the love you feel.I know you can write more.

    Raul

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  3. Marifer, this is very similar to Laura's post.... You should have your own ideas, not copy them from your classmates. Besides that you should check your posts twice to don't have any spelling or grammar mistakes. Write more on your posts, this post doesn't even have 3 paragraphs.

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  4. I think your topic is completely ridiculous. I did not like it at ALL. It was so lame and I would never read something like that in my entire life! I TRULY think that you could do better by writing about a piece of dust. That would be WAY more interesting and fascinating than this. I don't want to look like a jerk or anything, but honestly, this is makes me want to take my eyes out when reading it. I hope you get better, although I think you are not going to do it. Yeah, so, bye.

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  5. FIRST...

    RODRIGO YOU SUCK IN YOUR COMMENTS, THATS INMATURE OF YOUR PART, IF YOU DONT LIKE IT YOU SHOULD GO AHEAD AND READ SOMEONE ELSES OK!!!

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  6. SEBASTIAN

    I DIDNT COPY LAURA'S POST! I GRABBED THE IDEAS FROM HER, AND I WROTE MY, LAURA AND I DO NOT FEEL THE SAME THING OK!! AND LIKE STOP BOTHERING ME. AND DO BETTER THINGS!

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  7. Marifer, I really liked your paragraph but you did not put a lot of effort in your work. Next time I want you to put more information in
    your work. It is very short but it is cute, I liked that your paragraph shows how is your personality. I really know you could do better
    than that. Put more facts about love, I don't know, be more creative. Try to make it longer and more interesting next time. I really think
    the work you did was a 5th grade essay or paragraph. Make yourself think and be more thoughtful! I want you to put more challenging
    words in your paragraphs from now on. Your first and last paragraph's are not paragraphs they are sentences. Put more effort in you
    work.

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  8. The essay doesn't really follow the requirements, the story itself is simply wrong. Did the original paragraph asked for a letter? The whole paragraph, which is way too short by the way, has some major spelling mistakes. You really need to check your work twice, perhaps you can correct the essay and make it mean something. In conclusion, you might want to write some more, from scratch, and at least make it decent.

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  9. This is one of the worst essay or whatever you want to call this. This has completely no value and it is boring. There are also no paragraphs here. Grammar mistakes totally messes up your story. Also, there are some *sentences* that are just wrong. I think that like some others, you did this in like 10 minutes considering you took your time writing nonsense on purpose. No one can be this bad. In conclusion this was just horrible.

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  10. MARIFER
    YOU HAVE TO CCHECK YOUR SPELLING AND GRAMMER. ans you copied from lauras, but you just change it to your words. DO NOT BE SO LAZY AND GET YOUR OWN IDEAS FROM YOU HEAD AND STRAT TO USE IT. AHAHAHA ITS A JOKE, BUT IT IS VERY SIMILAR TO LAURAS.

    ReplyDelete