Something is happening to Melisa.
I woke up; it was almost time to go to school. I just dressed myself, and had bread for breakfast. I quickly ran out the door, grabbed my keys, and drove way to school.
When I finally got to my locker, I saw my best friend, Melissa; she looked at me like I was out of this world and left. I didn´t know if I was wrong or she was wrong, but something is happening to her.
When we got into Physics class, she sat beside me, and I had a chance to talk with her. Something weird was happening to her; she hadn´t come to school for two weeks and suddenly Melissa appeared. I asked her the reason for her absence and she answered:
“There has been a lot of sun these two weeks”.
So, I was like confused, that doesn´t have anything to do with us. I didn’t stop thinking about what was happening to her, but whatever. I drove home, and when I opened my door, the first thing I saw was my little brother with a pretty funny look. I ran into my room and the first thing I saw were three polar bears sleeping in my bed. I screamed a lot and almost fell into the floor, but one of the bears, grabbed me. I asked them what was happening, but they just laughed. I ran out of my room, and when I came back, there were gone. My little brother told me that I came from Mercury, but I didn’t care.
After 3 days, Melissa and I went into a bar, but she made something really weird, she picked up a fat old man who was resting at the entrance, and threw him into his car. That was not normal, she is a 15 year old girl, and she can carry old men like 67 years old. When we got back home, I was driving, way to my house, and I touched Melissa´s hands, they were too cold, and white. I got impressed and I asked what´s wrong with her, but she just told me, “I’m fine don´t worry”. I got very desperate and she was all calmed.
I finally dropped her in her house, and I drove home, but I didn’t stop thinking about all this incidents. I could not sleep, and I told my brother everything that happened to me with Melissa, and he laughed at me when I told him my entire story. I went to sleep, and the next morning, my brother jumped into my bed and screamed… “Your best friend is a Vampire” I just laughed at him, and told him, “You are so crazy, why are you saying that?” My little brother told me the things that vampires do, like don’t hang out when there´s sun, their bodies really cold and white, and a brutal force. I got shocked because all that stuff was what Melissa did.
Next day, I woke up, and the 3 polar bears were there, looking at me in a good way and I asked them what was happening, and they told me that they were going to be gone, because I already discovered that Melissa was a Vampire. I didn’t understand why three polar bears were there, talking to me.
DANIELA-“Ok, but where do you came from?”
POLAR BEAR- “We came from the HPC”
DANIELA- “What does HPC mean?”
POLAR BEAR- “Human Protection Company, our job is to prevent humans from other unknown animals or things. Mother nature send us specially for your protection, and your safety life. Your brother was endangered too, but he was even smarter than you.”
DANIELA- “So what should I do with Melissa?”
POLAR BEAR- “You should talk with her, today before 12:00am, or you could be dead, or become a Vampire too.”
Me, Daniela, I was very frustrated about this situation, My best friend is a vampire, and I’m endangered to become one! My life is going to be ruined if I don’t hurry.
Few hours, and finally Melissa got into Starbucks, were we were supposed to meet. She went for her coffee, and sat. That was the perfect moment to talk about that.
BY: MARIFER
LIKE IT :)
ReplyDeleteYour story goes to fast. I think you could make the beginning much extensive. As I was reading your story and read the part that said that Melissa didn’t went to school because of the sun remembered me to “Twilight”. You know, Edward also left school for a time because of the sunny days. A thing you could improve was to make the story much clear because there where characters that I didn’t knew what they were doing. Also the dialogue, you wrote it like if it was theater scrip or something like that. On short stories you don’t need to put the name of the character and then the dialogue. What I like the most was your topic. I would never had written about of polar bears; It’s really original. It was comic and enjoyable. I loved.
ReplyDeleteMarifer you had a great idea. I agree with laura if you make your begging more extensive this story would be much better. I like that you use dialogue. You have very few grammar and spelling mistakes. But steel your story is very good i liked how you begging. Your story cached my attention.
ReplyDeleteMarifer, I really liked your story. Ive never read a story that includes polar bears AND vampires, that was very interesting. Also you were very creative about this story. Altough I agree with Laura, it does happen to fast. Other than that Great Job! :)
ReplyDelete